What is the difference between expressing gratitude and feeling grateful? I’ve noticed there is a huge difference between those terms as is our feelings towards gratitude in general. The problem occurs when we reject love, friendship, intimacy, gifts, kindness, etc. All of the times we reject something consciously or subconsciously, shows our inability to ACCEPT and RECEIVE. It very often stems from our childhood experiences with being taught to show gratitude, to express gratitude, to be thankful, etc. All of this experience is related to something we “should”, “must”, “ought” to do. Our system rejects this command as it violates our free will to choose, to feel and to experience on our own the very fact of RECEIVING and BEING GIVEN. Those were the times when we have missed an opportunity to feel inner joy and hapiness first, to really allow ourselves to perceive the RECEIVING and therefore, to acknowledge and ACCEPT. As this whole most natural process has been disrupted, it became engraved in our subconscious: “I owe something for this”, “I have to give something to have it”, “I don’t know what to say”, “I feel pressured”, etc. All kinds of negative feelings become enlocked in the process of expressing gratitude. To the extent where we start to avoid accepting in the first place.
In addition, the process of expressing gratitude creates tension as it comes from a place not natural to us but from an obligation to do that, from a need to please somebody who gave us something with the best intention, with good heart and kindness. I have seen this so many times in my clients when they rejected love, or help, or kindness out of fear to feel forced to give something back, as an obligation natural in the process of receiving…
It is never too late to learn acceptance. As this is the most important in life to feel happy, to live fully, feeling loved and being abundant. We should be very gentle with ourselves and our feelings in this process and we need to tell ourselves: I am are allowed to take my time. I have all the time I need. I am allowed to feel all my feelings. I am allowed to feel my joy and hapiness first. It is I who decide upon where and how to show our gratitude in the most natural and loving way”.
When we acknowledge and respect our own feelings and space, a sense of gratitude will appear naturally and the words will come easily. Along with it – ACCEPTANCE and RECEIVING.
