I’ve had quite a few convesations with my clients about them yearning for love, desiring love, longing for love, looking for love and still getting only scraps of it…
What is it that makes it so difficult to receive love? Often times when my clients nod with confidence that they surely desire love and that they surely ACCEPT LOVE, it turns out, they DO NOT.
Merely because they don’t recognize it, they cannot grasp or identify love, because their feelings do not register certain actions or words of others, or certain experiences as LOVE.
The truth is, love often comes in disguise, looking like something else – a politeness, a friendliness, a spontaneous gesture, a cosy silence, a connection, etc. So why do we fail to recognize it? What makes us feel a lack of love even when we are showered with it? The answer is: our expectations for love and false definition of love.
Firstly, our mind defines love according to the expectations we have for it. These expectations have been created long time ago, when we were little and wanted to be loved by our parents in a particular way and most probably, our expectations have never been met. Simply because our parents expressed love in their own unique way and in a way they were capable of showing it at the time.
So we carry this lack for “real” love still hoping that somebody would meet our expectations and give us “love” exactly in a way or a form we expect them to. In a way we have hoped to receive it ever since we were little. As those expectations are only real in our mind, no one is capable of meeting them and providing us exactly what we are longing for. And we get dissapointed, sad, frustrated, angry for love not being around.
We may also have hundreds of false or distorted definitions of love that we pick from our family, friends, ancestors, books, media, etc. In this case we’ve got images in our minds that represent love to us based on what we’ve heard being around people that we loved or from reading novels, or seeing in movies, etc. Again these definitions of love might have been true for somebody in their reality, but it was not the highest truth or the divine truth of what love is.
Not knowing or not recognizing this, we continue to long for, to disregard, to dismiss or to even reject love as it is unrecognizable for us – we don’t have receptors for identifying certain behavior of others as love.
Some of our traumas or painful experiences from the past lives may have shaped our perception of love in such a way that we are only capable of seeing a false, a distorted picture of love. For instance, if somebody grew up experiencing abuse, codependency, harshness, neglect, so love for such a person will be felt as some sort of pain, loss, sadness, sacrifice, depletion, disempowerment, etc. Simply because such a person has never felt anything different in a relationship and has learned to accept trauma or pain as love. This way the pain becomes a synonim for love for a person that has mostly experienced a traumatic intimate human connection in life.
It is so important to heal blockages and limitations around accepting and receiving love!
When we heal our traumas around love we really open our hearts and become capable of receiving a huge amount of love and abundance from the Universe that is showered on us in many forms and in many ways.
